You Subconsciously Think That I Am Sexy~

I'm BaNanA^_^ TaN!

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter

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REMEMBER

Be natural but nice...=^_^=

Friday, May 26, 2006

Bored, Moody...Bitchy!!!

Yup.. Thats me these few days! dunno why!! is it the PMS again? Hope so... cos i dun like this feeling of being Pek Chek all the time!

Can't believe i am actually dreading training later! and to think that 4 years ago i will feel wierd if i nv go training! the sparks have finally fizzled! i think now my main reason to go is cos wanna see a few of the people and most importantly, to JIAN FEI!!! (oo)

Actually it wasnt soooo bad~ grad le... still nvm... got some motivation to train! 1st, have to learn the routine to make up for gers to compete!!! then.... after much quarreling and buay songness with Leslie, i finally happily learning and trying to practice... then one fine day, i was suddenly told that i no need to compete anymore! DURING TRAINING TOO~ Why cant u let me know earlier then maybe i dun have to come? that day, Jiao was'nt there... i have completely NOTHING to do! i can't walk off like that too~ cos no manners!

Nv summit my name, at least call to inform me first la! not make me feel like an idiot at the last min! Although i really dun wanna compete, suddenly telling me that i do not need to compete instead of asking me whether i wanna compete or not is 2 DIFFERENT things! bleh~ finally let it out! its been bugging me for a LOOONG time~
damn it... i know that my Wushu skills Sucks like shit! i already ... haiz~ it just doesnt feel nice when the WHOLE world come and tell me i sux at wushu! something i wasted my 4 years at?

maybe i should stick to Shijandao! at least EVERYONE there appreciates me! even Shifu... he keeps asking me to go down to HELP him! at least i know i am appreciated there! people think i am pro! unlike school~ i am just another useless piece of crap!

Next thursday... i am not going out! i will go SHIJANDAO!!! MUST REMEMBER!!!!!

Remembered on the journey back home~ took the MRT~ was crowded~ see 2 old people walking in!!! NOBODY bothers to give up their seats!!! bleh~ young people nowadays are so selfish~ they dun give up their seats to people that needs it more! they just pretend to sleep, look at the floor, listen MP3... wadever! i stood there looking at the couple seated in front of me~ then i see the old man! the guy must have seen me! i made it OBVIOUS! but... nv bother to stand up!!! whats this man~ dun you feel guilty? so after the couple stand up~ i quickly called one old man to sit! the other? he had to stand cause a young girl took that seat!!! damn it! felt like asking her if she has no eyes to see ar~ but think she looks fermiliar...should i name her? maybe... or not? of course i will!!! she looks like PeiXuan's friend Eliser~ Maybe i recognised the wrong person~ but there was a slight look of fermilarity so i think it should be! bleh~ so in the end i nv ask her to stand up... but i kept staring at her and back at the old man! i OBVIOUSLY made it obvious so that she would feel maybe a teeny bit guilty and stand~ but she nv... she just stared at me and back at the old man and to the floor! damn` but anyway... i stared at her the whole trip back! and the old man beside her was even asking the old man standing if he wanted to seat!!! damn it! has that ger have no heart? 2 wobbly old man giving seats to each other, but one healthy young girl just sitting there watching! hope she feels guilty!!! its those couple seats by the door kind if you by now havent realised~ so theres only these 2 seats by my side cos i was standing in that center wobbly hole i like=) damn it~ why dont people give up their seats nowadays? i remember seeing a heavily tattooed ah beng give up his seat for an old ah ma... see le sooo heartwarming! even ah bengs have a heart! different view of ah bengs after that! damn the "nice innocent straight" people out there~ bleh~

ok~ finally after letting off steam~ for the Happier part! i guess~
Went to watch X-Man with Leslie yesterday! i was feeling very bu shuang! cos for tues and wed, nv see him~ not much sms and phonecalls! nothing to talk nowadays with him! yesterday, work was busy~ although the woman behind me nv come~ it means i have to double the job! but... it was much more peaceful here without here~ think i can handle it too!

the thing i was PISSED about was that, on Wed, leslie asked me if we wanna go out on Thurs... i said, you not tired meah~ he reached camp at around 12 anyway~ but he said wanna go out! so i excited~
thurs... woke up earlier~ although nothing much... wore contacts! ITS A BIG THING FOR ME TO WEAR CONTACTS EARLIER IN THE MORNING COS... i could use that few minutes extra in bed everyday!!!

whole day... no sms! not even the usual "must eat lunch" today!" so when i sms him ask him about 2night how? he said..."very sian no mood" WTF!!! damn pissed off! if dun wanna go out, why bother asking me on wed if u dun really feel like going out? bleh~ in the end he say see how 1st!!! bleh~ pek chek!!!
so i sms him say "i dun wanna meet u le!"
he replied " where you going?"
i said" bad mood, nowhere to go, nothing to do... blah blah!" i did say i wanted to go to chinese garden to destress! dun think he likes going to chinese garden~ cos in the end, he said wanna go watch X-man! ok lor~ meet... nothing to talk! so i watch the movie they were playing at the tv~ i almost scold him saying dun wanna talk then ask me out for what! i dun wanna see a zombie!!!! but... think he's tired.. so i shut my gap~

Watched the 7.15 show~ whole show... he nv hold my hand or hug me! bleh~ i felt sooo unloved! BLEh~~~ i ended up with another ZOMBIE! bleh~ hate that deja vu feeling again~ ended up... i sat at my FAR side of the seat.. and enjoyed the show! it was a good show after all! regretted that i had to watch with a emotionless person beside me! watching with my sis would be better! at least can gossip on how handsome the guys were~ i tell him who handsome, he say my taste not good! of cos not good lar~ how do you think i ended up with you anyway~~~ bleh!!!

after the show... i immediately asked him... "now go home ar" then he say ar~ diao... thought of sending him to mrt and kick him off there! but he insisted on sending me home! (oo) haiz... regretted not going to Shijandao in the 1st place! should have just went to Chinese garden and to Shijandao! at least i will feel more peaceful and relaxed and have fun instead of being a grumpy bitchy person that i have to control not to show! *temper temper* tsk tsk~

in the end, he said wanna go my house bathe 1st b4 going back camp... cos raining then water cold~
felt that... he did not wanna send me home~ he wanted to use the heater at my house~ *negative thinking**

so went home, bathed then i sort of chase him off! Happily played O2 jam!!! thinking that wun hear from him for the rest of the day.
but he smsed soon after, telling me about how antique his bus was. "the window is not the slide left and right one.. its up and down" lol~ sooo idiot right? i told him he was an antique anyway!

he reached camp, called me, i hung up.. and called him back~ as usual... free incoming ma~ did'nt really talk much~ was concentrating on my game!

met a new guy there! wasted he's only 18!!! lol` but he looks cute in his msn~ wasted he's a malaysian~ sooo far~ haha... Sieg~ cute name right? we chatted quite long after that after quitting the game! got common topic ma~ FAILED CHINESE!lol~ damn... we are in the same boat and proud of it=)

hope to Jam with him again soon~ lol!!!

There may be other fish in the sea, but I'm too damn lazy to fish!

Went BaNanAs^_^ 4:42 PM